“The thoughts, beliefs, and emotions we don’t consciously reject, we unconsciously accept.” — Jen Sincero
The stories we choose to tell about ourselves create the lens through which we view our lives—and our potential. But often we write scripts filled with negative impressions of ourselves. “We’re not good enough.” “Not smart enough.” “We never win.” Then what happens is that these negative stories accumulate in our lives and influence the choices we make and limit the futures we allow ourselves to see.
“Which frequency are you tuned into?” — Melanie Foote-Davis
How we frame our lives is a matter of perspective. In cognitive psychology, reframing means looking at something in a new way. As humans, we are natural storytellers. We can reframe our stories so that they serve and support us, rather than hinder and hold us back.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of framing our lives in a negative way and focusing on our stresses, our struggles, and our frustrations. Some of us get stuck in a cycle of “crisis to survival to crisis” over and over—and end up in overwhelm.
“Be careful not to idolize struggle.” — Morgan Dixon, Co-founder, GirlTrek
I’m not saying we should discount our struggles and the things we’ve overcome, but when those are the only stories you tell yourself, you end up tuned into the struggle channel all the time. This isn’t about rewriting the past, but about rewriting how we feel about the past so we can let it go. When you reframe a story, you can then opt out of it, release it, and create a new story around it.
Here are seven ways to start reframing your stories (courtesy of g2Coach Melanie Foote-Davis):
- Set your heart FREE. Many of us spend time in spaces we’re not even conscious of. Be aware of the energy you’re tuning into, the things you’re filling your days with, what you spend your time thinking about. You don’t have to live in crisis mode all the time.
- Dare to play with possibilities. What do you want to feel? With whom do you want to spend your time? What situation would you like to shift? Your freedom lies within your decision to say yes to who you are, what you want, and what you stand for.
- Create an “I am” mantra. Call up a picture of yourself and repeat it until you believe it.
- Receive with grace. Don’t push away experiences and opportunities. Welcome them into your life.
- Detach and allow. Detach from others’ expectations and let it go. Forgive now.
- Live in gratitude. Be grateful for the little things. For all the things.
- Celebrate all wins. No matter how small. Show the universe that you are ready to handle more.